The mid-issue update is a little late going out – to be honest, this column was the holdup. I wait until close to publication time before I write my column. I want it to be timely as well as reflective of where I am mentally. So around February 26th, I started writing my March column – and it became the column that, while reflective and though out, just didn’t get finished.
What I began writing was why I chose not to “give up” anything for Lent this year – and instead, work on better taking care of myself. The delay of finishing that column is an example of how that Lenten thought just isn’t coming to fruition. With the pace of my life – my attempt to accomplish so much in the short time span of a day – I find that I am still not doing a very good job at this. In fact, in reflecting over the past week, I find I am barely taking time to pause and breathe.
From the outside, people look at my life and see someone that must have lots of time on her hands. But this movement back to being self employed means that even when it appears I am goofing off, I’m usually working in some capacity or another. Yes, I have my moments when I play but sometimes even the appearance of play is simply an off-shoot of something work related. I will say that I do take some time out for play – and I play hard – as the result of working harder.
In a discussion with a close friend, it was pointed out that I have spent so much of my life taking care of others, that I am incredibly lousy at taking care of myself. So, I’ve been experimenting with a compromise.
I still run at full tilt – and as long as I am self-employed, I don’t see that changing completely. But, at least once per week, I go to my favorite salon and have lunch. At first thought, going to the salon for lunch may seem like an odd choice – but hear me out. The café in the salon is run by a incredible chef who has worked at a premier destination spa. The food is consistently tasty and the selections are healthy, balanced – and typically lower calorie – yet filling. They know me there and generally take good care of me. I take my notebook, so my time can be productive.
It combines several things for me. I am fed a well balanced lunch – something I neglect. It gets me out of my office – which being at home means away from the distractions of laundry and dishes – as well as the lull of the computer and email. It gets me around people, which is a good thing as I find myself become reclusive at times – and at other times a little isolated feeling. It forces me to spend time with my thoughts and paper – a combination that, as a writer, I need. I recently discovered that I am much more productive – and creative – with my trusty notebook and a pen than I’ve been in front of a computer monitor. I’ve gotten several creative pieces finished – and I’ve made real strides in my novel, which is something that lay dormant for many months.
I know it isn’t THE answer to taking better care of me, but it is a step in the right direction. In those moments of time when I am sitting at the glass-top table with a glass of iced tea – and a pen in hand - I am reminded that taking some time out to nourish my spirit along with nourishing my body is necessary in my fast paced life. What better way to take care of myself that to put dedicated time into my passion – writing – instead of letting it languish away?
And sometimes, I actually do more than eat – and schedule an appointment with my hairdresser – or some time in the spa for a massage or facial. Those appointments remind me that sometimes it’s ok to take a break.
That sometimes….sometimes, I just need to breathe….