I
love long intimate talks with friends. It seems as if the longer you have to
chat, the more subjects you cover. Not only do you get an opportunity to learn
more about friends, but in all honesty, you get an opportunity to learn even
more about yourself…
Recently, a friend of mine had an hour-long drive ahead of her and I kept her company. We discussed a million and a half topics, like women tend to do – and the topic of conversation turned to how we felt about ourselves. And I made a confession – that up until recently, I really didn’t like myself, let alone love myself.
She seemed a little shocked – because we’ve only become friends in recent months. And ever since she’s known me, I’ve seemed confident, fun loving and light in spirit. And she asked, well, what did you see when you looked in the mirror. And I was bluntly honest – how the girl in the mirror was a hateful stranger who couldn’t find joy.
But not anymore. I haven’t been that girl for months. Now, it hasn’t been easy – every single step has been hard fought. I still have my brief moments of shaken confidence. But they are blessedly brief. I’ve realized with each passing day that I am very blessed to be the person I am. I like myself – and honestly love the person that I am. And something I would have scoffed at a year ago? I’m happy. I’m happy with where my life seems to be leading – and thrilled that for the first time in many years, I’m good with just being ME. And if someone asks me to be someone different? Then they simply don’t stay a part of this life of renewal.
I’m learning that there are moments of joy to discover in every aspect of my life. Last month I talked about learning to step outside the box that is my life, and I can tell you that every single inch I move enhances not only the joy in my life, but continues to make me a better and more rounded person. I’m continuing to expand my horizons – and surround myself with truly amazing and inspiring people.
There are moments of un-ease and unhappiness. But they are short and fleeting because I’ve now learned that the next turn of a corner will be an opportunity.
So, today, I look in the mirror and see a girl who loves the person she is. She accepts herself for not only her virtues, but her faults. She's a happy person - full of love and caring - of fun and understanding. And she’s a damn good person to get to know…
I’m thankful I got to know her now and didn’t waste any more of my life not discovering who she really is…