Return to Myself

originally published in "Poetry & Prose" section of All Things Girl

(part of the "Awareness" edition -  June 2005)
 

Oblivious
I sit at the bar and sip my drink
and participate in idle chatter
with the girl behind the bar
and eyes are on me

Familiar
are the patrons
though I do not know their names
but only their faces
I'm at ease

Comfortable
as I sit and await the arrival of a good friend
she's late but it's ok
I rarely mind
the waiting

Unaware
until a touch upon my shoulder
by one of the waiters I've come to know
I feel his breath as he whispers that another customer
wants my number

Self-Conscious
I simply laugh
then turn and smile and get a boyish grin
and tell the waiter I don't think so
to which he smiles

Remembering
the words of a friend who said that
I ooze sensuality
and openness
without trying

(Closed)
I put up walls
because I'm not wanting friendly boys
but simply time to relax and chat with friends who have
no expectations

Guarded
until my friend arrives and greets me
with a hug
I’m able to be return to myself
again

 

 © DSmouse 2005